After More Than Two Decades of Sobriety She Needed HART
After 26 years of sobriety, Anika Cooper found herself in a dark place, one that was all too eerily familiar. Waves of fear and shame washed over her. As childhood wounds surfaced in the face of a new challenge, she grappled with feeling unsafe, unlovable, and unimportant. Anika could see the regressions beginning to manifest as overacting, feeling anxious, and panic attacks. She knew from previous experiences that these were signs that it was time to do the work to prevent a relapse. The only problem was that she was completely broke.
Anika had recently been forced to leave a company that she founded amid unanticipated circumstances. She had put her everything into building a business that would serve other people in their sobriety. It had become her identity. Leaving the company broke her heart and sent her into a whirlwind of distress that she wasn’t fully prepared to face. Luckily, even at her lowest moments, she held onto her faith and determination.
“No amount of prayer or step work was going to heal the regression of going back into a childhood fear,” said Anika. “As I was forced to move myself and my kids from a beautiful spacious home to an apartment, and everything that I worked so hard for being ripped away from me, I started to feel unsafe again. Just like when I was a child. I felt unseen and unwanted. Even though I had been doing the work to heal, that trauma resurfaced. I began seeing how that PTSD was affecting my kids. I knew that if I didn’t work on it immediately, not only might I relapse, but I would put this on my kids and the generational stuff would continue.”
With no financial resources, Anika reached out to a contact at a treatment center and asked if financial assistance was available. That’s when she found out about HART, a non-profit organization that provides financial assistance for those needing treatment on a case-to-case basis. Anika filled out the application but was told that there weren’t sufficient funds available to cover her needs.
“I was sitting on my bed praying. If treatment wasn’t meant to be, I desperately needed something else. Sometimes you’re just at the point that you can’t go one more day. There’s no hope,” she continued. “I said to God, ‘something has to happen, I can’t handle this anymore.’ And then the phone rang. The representative from HART said, ‘I don’t know what you’ve been doing but I know you have a really big God working on your behalf because we just received substantial funds and we’re going to cover your treatment.”
Anika was registered in a program shortly thereafter, the results of which were life-changing. In addition to the treatment center’s highly effective methods in helping her understand and heal childhood trauma, Anika credits her willingness to do the work; God for bringing her to the right place at the right time; and HART for making it possible.
“I have been doing this for 26 years. I have friends that need trauma work, but they can’t afford it because insurance won’t cover trauma work so the fact that HART helps pay for this type of treatment, gives people a gift,” adds Anika. “I can tell you from my own experience, that I might not be sitting here had it not been for that grant. No one else was going to give me that money. My family was already helping me pay rent and taking care of basic needs for me and my kids so I’m just grateful. HART just saved my life, and my kids’ lives, and affected a lot of people who will come into contact with me. All because of their generosity in remembering me when that funding came in. When people are in trauma or crisis mode, they don’t need robots. They need humans who are compassionate, understanding, loving and have been through it. It was about more than money.”
In sharing her story, Anika also wants to help break the stigma for others who are in recovery and who may be struggling.
“For me to be sitting here today and not having used because of shame and guilt is a miracle. But there’s this stigma in recovery. At 26 years, it was almost like I wasn’t doing enough,” Anika continues. “At times it felt like I wasn’t going to enough meetings or sponsoring enough people or going deep enough into the steps. I had to realize that I’m not perfect and there was more work to be done outside of those things in order to stay sober. One of the keys is that I was willing to step up for what I needed, do the work, and not blame other people.”
As Anika works to get back on her feet, she hopes to inspire other people in recovery to face their mistakes and unhealed trauma by reaching out for help.
“I used to be afraid that people would say I’m crazy because I just can’t get it right or they might judge me and think that I must be really sick for needing to get help like that. I want people to know that they are not alone. Other people are going to talk one way or another. The healing and freedom on the other side of the work are way more important. At the end of the day, I’m the one who has to face the racing thoughts, trauma, and negative self-talk keeping me up at night. So, do the work.” she says. “I didn’t die from calling the HART Foundation, but I would have died if I didn’t call and reach out.”
HART, the official non-profit of Hall of Fame Behavioral Health (HOFBH), exists to break the cycle of addiction by filling in the funding gap between addiction and recovery. HART provides financial assistance for drug and alcohol treatment, sober living, and therapy for people seeking change. To learn more on how to apply for a HART grant, please call (888) 655-HART.